Skinny Me

My new blog. It is going to be filled with inspiration and positivity. I will not give up, I will be strong, I will be powerful I will be skinny.

Food means nothing to me, I will let go, I have no attachment to it what-so-ever.

I have identified my weakness - after dinner sitting alone at the computer I get cravings however I will over come these by spending my time on my laptop, beginning on lent on Wednesday slowly decreasing the amount of food that passes my lips.

Last night was a massive inspiration for me when I watched as one of my best friends threw up liquid because she hadnt eaten that day. Secretly, I wished I was her.

And not eating was all going so well until I forgot why I wasnt eating. I will write a list when I start the new blog of reasons. I will put it down the side so it will always be there. I will look at other blogs especially the ones I am following to give me inspiration and will power.

You can do this. You can L. I am going to be such a f*cking skinny bitch.

An unlikely thinspiration

Browzing http://etsy.com/ I just came across an amazing piece of thinspiration.

This crop top made me imagine that if I was really skinny I could wear it over a tight long vest tio and it would look really good. So I just need to stop messing around and start becoming skinny. I don't know if lent is too far away to start. I think I shall cut down
on snacking before then and then over lent no snacking.

I just imagined myself buying this, if I had a job I would have enough money so I could. That made me think about getting to work on my CV.

Ahh cant wait til lent.

Looking to the right at the '0 days to my target weight' is actually one of the most depressing things.

Its actually a massive coincidence that I've returned to my blog today as I was just browzing some thinspiration sites, because today was the day when I was supposed to have reached my target weight of 107lbs.

In actual fact, I'm still probably more like 111, although I'm too scared to weigh myself right now because today has been the biggest binge ever and I had to take laxatives for the second time so I didnt feel so bloated. I've had crisps, chocolate bars, cereal, bacon sandwiches, bread and chicken today, which is more than I used to eat before I started losing weight. Yestarday wasnt a great day either as I went shopping with my mum and for some reason when I'm with my family I always overeat.

I think this is slowly turning into an eating disorder, and the couple of times when I havnt eaten anything all day is when I'm at my happiest. But then I think I've done well so think I can eat something then go and ruin it. But from now on I am just going to come on here and let the thinspiration help me stay clean.

For a week or so I was getting the hang of not eating, but I always seem to binge at the end of the week like I did today. But you haven't failed until you've given up. And this girl is not giving up.

Some quotes to inspire:
Giving in to food shows weakness. Be strong and you will be better than everyone else.
You won't feel satisfaction after you eat that, just guilt.

What I have eaten today

Damage:
Bran flakes - 80
Glass of milk - 115
Sandwich crusts - 100
Pick n miz - 200
Minstrels - 211
Pasta tuna sweetcorn and mayo - 450
Mini ice cream - 40
Handful of grapes - 30
TOTAL: 1226 kcals

I need 1500 to maintain a constant weight.

Not utterly dreadful but I still feel like a PIG from all that pasta. Once I start I just cant stop eating!
From the pick n mix onwards is everthing I have eaten between 4 and 7pm. Its disgraceful.
My textiles teacher gave me loads of work so I went a bought some minstrels to cheer myself up. I need to stop buying chocolate to cheer me up.

Going to try to keep it under 500 kcals tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hopefully I can motivate myself to go for a run tonight after gossip girl.

I weighed myself last night. 114.2lb.

My goal is 107. If I reach it, I want to treat myself with something. Clothes? What do you think?

Reasons to fast tomorrow:

UPDATE: 8.37pm - said no to a few chips dad brought home from fish and chip shop. I feel powerful.

Inspiration

Don't give up what you want most,

For something you want now.

Thinspo: