Looking to the right at the '0 days to my target weight' is actually one of the most depressing things.

Its actually a massive coincidence that I've returned to my blog today as I was just browzing some thinspiration sites, because today was the day when I was supposed to have reached my target weight of 107lbs.

In actual fact, I'm still probably more like 111, although I'm too scared to weigh myself right now because today has been the biggest binge ever and I had to take laxatives for the second time so I didnt feel so bloated. I've had crisps, chocolate bars, cereal, bacon sandwiches, bread and chicken today, which is more than I used to eat before I started losing weight. Yestarday wasnt a great day either as I went shopping with my mum and for some reason when I'm with my family I always overeat.

I think this is slowly turning into an eating disorder, and the couple of times when I havnt eaten anything all day is when I'm at my happiest. But then I think I've done well so think I can eat something then go and ruin it. But from now on I am just going to come on here and let the thinspiration help me stay clean.

For a week or so I was getting the hang of not eating, but I always seem to binge at the end of the week like I did today. But you haven't failed until you've given up. And this girl is not giving up.

Some quotes to inspire:
Giving in to food shows weakness. Be strong and you will be better than everyone else.
You won't feel satisfaction after you eat that, just guilt.

Why it doesnt feel like summer

The rain is bucketing down outside and there is no hint of sun, and it is 1.45pm when it should be the sunniest.

How crap.

Chocolate truffles and chocolate biscuits

Super leathel... I succummed to their powers :P
Dammmnnn
I'm dreading the scales tonight.


Yestarday I was down to 111.2 which is REALLY GOOD. Should be under 110 by next week.

Lily Allen quote:
"But everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner"

What I have eaten today

Bran flakes - 80
Glass of milk - 80
Chicken kebab - 500
Be good to yourself crisps - 98
Sainsburys crisps - 129
2 Walls mini ice creams - 80
1 apple - 60
Diet coke - 0

TOTAL DAMAGE - 1027

Alright day.

Good Mood

I won a Babyliss hairbrush which was really cool, and it wasnt the fact that it was a hairbrush it was that it came through the post free that just made me smile.

Todays damage so far:
Smoothie - 120
Bran - 70
Apple - 50
Greggs mexican chicken roll - 430
2 mini icreams - 80
Caramel snack a jacks - 101

Dinner - tba

Total so far: 851

I am going to my friends bbq for dinner and for drinks. Alcohol is not good for losing weight at all.

113!

I did go for a run yestarday, and weighed myself and was 113! Thats 1.2 gone in one day, and I didnt even eat that well. So happy.

Got to be careful not to put it back on now though.

What I have eaten today:
Glass of milk - 100
High Bran - 100
Go Ahead bar - 250
Snack a Jacks caramel flavour - 101
Walkers Lights cheese & onion crisps - 113

Dinner - tba

Total so far: 664


Update 8.27pm:

FAIL.

Mood has completely plummited. I binged.

1 more pack Snack a Jacks - 101
2 mini milks - 60
1 walls twister mini icecream - 40
4 ginger nut biscuts - 320
Fruit smoothie - 150
Snacking at dinner parents had - 200
Ham - 100

TOTAL: 664 + 971 = 1635

Gained 135 calories.
FAIL FAIL FAIL

Some one give me some encouragement and inspiration PLEASE. I need some help. :/

Whats worse is I cant even go running tonight cause I have to deliver some catalogues.

FASTING TOMORROW. (And running if I get the chance).

Diet coke will now be my best friend.

My mood is worse because I had a massive argument with my family. AHHH.

What I have eaten today

Damage:
Bran flakes - 80
Glass of milk - 115
Sandwich crusts - 100
Pick n miz - 200
Minstrels - 211
Pasta tuna sweetcorn and mayo - 450
Mini ice cream - 40
Handful of grapes - 30
TOTAL: 1226 kcals

I need 1500 to maintain a constant weight.

Not utterly dreadful but I still feel like a PIG from all that pasta. Once I start I just cant stop eating!
From the pick n mix onwards is everthing I have eaten between 4 and 7pm. Its disgraceful.
My textiles teacher gave me loads of work so I went a bought some minstrels to cheer myself up. I need to stop buying chocolate to cheer me up.

Going to try to keep it under 500 kcals tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hopefully I can motivate myself to go for a run tonight after gossip girl.

I weighed myself last night. 114.2lb.

My goal is 107. If I reach it, I want to treat myself with something. Clothes? What do you think?

Reasons to fast tomorrow:

UPDATE: 8.37pm - said no to a few chips dad brought home from fish and chip shop. I feel powerful.

Inspiration

Don't give up what you want most,

For something you want now.

Thinspo:

What I have eaten today

3/4 cheese and chicken panini
2 small plates bran
An apple
Some salad leaves with salad cream
5 olives
2 chocolate orange segments

Blackcurrent and apple fruit squash.

Total calories: approx: 1000

Not bad considering its a school day.

New t-shirt designs!

I designed three new t-shirts for the River Island Competition.

What do you think of them?

If you like them, I would be extremely grateful if you could vote for them here!

Vote for my t-shirt design!

I created a t-shirt design and it would be great if you voted for it!

Go to the River Island Style Insider T-shirt Gallery to vote and see more t-shirts!

What do you think of it?

Get $2.15 FREE

At first this may seem a little too good to be true, so please allow me to explain. I have been trying to earn enough money to get a payout on SendEarnings.com for ages now, thinking they could send me the money through paypal. However today I finally got enough and it turns out they can only send the money by check. They can only send it to America, and I live in England which is incredibly annoying.


So, if any of you want to help me out, it would be great if you could send me $25 dollars, and I will give you all the information you need for the account which you can claim a cheque for $27.15.


This can be very quick and earns you money!It will benefit the both of us.

So, if you would like to do this then comment this post and I will give you the email to send the $25 to. As soon as I recieve it I will send you the details for the account. And I promise I will because the account serves no benefit to me whatsoever.



Here is the proof of the money in my account:

Leon Restaurants

I am now completely obsessed with Leon Restaurants. The food is healthy and tastes absolutely delicious, I had The Leon Gobi today. This is the future of fast food, and I can't wait until they open more restaurants.

I got burnt!

The sunniest day of the whole year by far, not a cloud in the sky, and I wanted to make the most of it so I spent all day out in it.
I revised in it, read my book (Just Jealous by Anne Cassidy), listened to my ipod and just sunbathed.

But of corse, now my face is as red as a tomato.

:D Sims 3 Launch

Won tickets to the Sims 3 Launch in London and goodie bag and the game when it comes out :D

Yaaay. This is why I love entering competitions - you've gotta be in it to win it!

Hollister, Jack Wills, Franklin & Marshall Wishlist

So I gave in and made wishlists for Hollister, Jack Wills and Franklin & Marshall.

HOLLISTER:

JACK WILLS:

FRANKLIN & MARSHALL:
I love this photo of a girl in Franklin & Marshall. It is completely my style and the girl is so pretty and has a really nice figure, although I think her legs are a little on the thin side.

What do you think?

Laptop Fund

Walking home today it was gorgeous - the sun had come out which is a fairly rare occasion. Getting home I wanted to be out in it, but it was too cool to sunbathe and I wasn't in the mood to read my book, so there was nothing really to do outside. I wanted to go on the computer and a wave of longing came over me for a laptop.

Now I only get £6 a week pocket money and most of that goes on clothes and my social life, so it will take quite a long time, but nevertheless I have dug out a piggy bank and I am going to add some money to it from time to time and hopefully in a year or so I will have enough to buy one.

Its not like I want a really expensive one or anything, just a small notebook with a wireless adaptor and a little bit of space for some music and photo files.

And by the way, if anyone really rich is reading this right now, you know what to do to make a little 15 year old incredibly happy :)


P.S. You can see that I have added a new box in the sidebar that says how much is in my laptop fund at the moment :P

Carbon Diaries 2015

Just finished reading this book about a girl in year 2015 where everyone in the UK is on carbon rations. Well written and ever so interesting! I would highly recommend it.

Click to buy it from Amazon

NY Cinnamon & Raisin Bagels

I am absolutely addicted. 215 calories never tasted so good, or lastest so long, filling you up aswell. Possibly the best food ever.

Food binge

After stupidly eating my lunch at 11.40am, I came home hungry. The problem is, once I start eating, especially because there is so much nice food in the house, I cant stop. It doesnt help my goal to get down to a size 8 by November :(

Here is what I ate when I came home today:

- packet of Walkers cheese & onion crisps
- banana

- 3 chocolate orange segments

- a rollymop herring

- a mini Milky Way

- packet of Fridge Raiders Chicken Tikka flavour chicken breast pieces

It all comes to over 700 calories! I will try to get out of eating dinner tonight.

Why I want to get thinner

I am not fat but I'm unpropotianed. I am a small size 6 on top and a rather large size 10 jeans size. I want to slim down my hips and legs to a size 8, at least. But it isnt working cause I just binge and I cant stop once I start. I know it is all psycological, but I need someone who will be like DONT EAT THAT, cause doing it by myself isnt working.

Anyone wanna be diet buddies? I need to start writing down a list of food I eat everyday cause apparently that makes you eat less.

Topshop + Miss Selfridge Wishlist

Went on Topshop and Miss Selfridge and made a wishlist. Don't know why I do it, its always so depressing knowing I can't have it. Here it is:
I might make one on Hollister, Abercrombie, Franklin & Marshall and Jack Wills. That list would actually be amazing.


I've got to go now - revision! Oh, the joy of being a teenager.

What I found...

I thought I'd post a couple of interesting and pretty sites I found while I was browsing the net.

Oh Joy

Hellovon

The lovely design of these blogs reminds me that I must do something more exciting with this one. Hopefully I will have time to do that tomorrow in between revising for my business GCSE which I have on Thursday :/

I like this image that I found on Found Type Friday. I love the idea of the website too!

Scolling through this site I love some of the images.

Why The Climb?

This all began while I was sitting in my ICT GCSE today. I finished in the first 20 minutes of an hour exam, so I had a lot of time to just think. That was when I decided I wanted to write a blog, to share my thoughts to the world.

I thought of names and eventually settled with 'route 17'. I don't know why. I have always liked the number 17, and I wanted something that would suggest a journey, because that's what life is. So route 17 was good. It was when I was sitting on the bus on the way home that I questioned it. And walking down the road on the way home, 'The Climb' by Miley Cyrus boomed on my ipod. And I was decided.

Take away all the Disney hype and some of the cheesyness, the song is extremely inspirational and the words are brilliant. The url is 'the climb 17' because some random spanish person had already taken theclimb. But at least I got to incorperate my favourite number!

So that is how the name came to be.

The Climb Lyrics
I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
The pain I’m knowing
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Click for video

THE CLIMB 17

It's not like I've never done this before. First posts are always pretty boring, so let me just give you a quick insight into why I've started this blog.

When I finished primary school in year 6 my teacher who we were all very close to wrote each student in my year of 30 pupils, a letter. One of the things she put in mine was "don't stop writing L, you'll make your millions!" So since, every now and then I've written a few poems, and even a short story which I got published in a national magazine. I keep a diary and write in it every few weeks to keep an update, but I never feel like I'm getting anywhere. I want to tell people things, spread messages, my thoughts. Not keep it all hidden away behind my bed with a key. So that is why a blog is a good idea.

I was into web designing a few years back and started a blog which followed on from that. I got a domain and everything but stupidly told my friends who made fun of it. So I deleted everthing and stopped. That is why I am keeping my name as 'L'. I was going to make up a new one but I couldnt think of one, so just L is fine for now. I thought I could make a new start with this blog and hopefully it will inspire people.

I don't expect many people to be reading this. Seeing as it is a completely unknown blog at the moement. But hopefully I can get into the world of blogging again and find some new blogs that will inspire me, too.

So if you are reading this, just drop a comment to say hi. I would really appreciate that.